Episode 003: Worthiness - Flip the Script
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Hey there! I'm Adrienne, and I’m so jazzed to welcome you back to "Live Your Truth. Love Your Life". This is a space where we're all about digging deep, seeking the truth of who we are, and embracing it wholeheartedly. In today's conversation, we're going to tackle something that touches every single one of us – worthiness. Yes, that little word that carries so much weight, it can often feel as heavy as the world on our shoulders. We’re going to talk about what it means, why it matters, and how it can utterly transform your life, for the better or worse, depending on your perspective.
Let's kick off with the wise words of entrepreneur and one of my mentors Jesse Itzler, who encourages us to "Believe in the end of your story." Just sit with that for a moment. It's an incredibly powerful sentiment that instills in us the belief that our dreams are not only within reach but are already in the making. To get the job, climb the mountain, or launch that business, you need to believe in the dream, absolutely, but more importantly, you need to believe in YOU and your ability to do it.
Underpinning all of this is our self-worth, our sense of innate value. The truth is, how you see yourself shapes your reality. Our perception of our own worthiness can either lift us up or drag us down, and it's often tangled up in dichotomies: am I good or bad? Deserving or undeserving?
If you see yourself as deserving, as enough, you allow for love, joy, and peace to flow freely into your life. But, many of us get trapped in a mental loop of "I'm not good enough. I don't do enough. I don't deserve this." I've been there, trust me. During the creation of my website and this podcast, I was plagued by doubts: Who am I to have a podcast? No one will want to hear what I have to say. I'm not good enough. But you know what, the real question is: for whom? And by whose standards am I not good enough?
So, when you're caught in an "I'm not good enough" spiral, dig deeper. Ask yourself, for whom and according to whose standards? You might surprise yourself when you can’t answer those questions. They help me remember I was wrestling with limiting beliefs – they’re just thoughts, and just because you think something, it doesn’t make it true.
Let's talk about five common struggles related to self-worth that many of us grapple with:
Comparing oneself to others: Do you find yourself caught in a comparison trap, measuring your success against others? This is a common struggle, especially today in the world of social media. You’re seeing the edited airbrushed version of someone’s success story. It looks like they woke up and nailed it. Winning at life all day every day. The truth is, so many people don’t show the long struggle that’s behind today’s success. Some people share their struggles, or part of them, but so many don’t. With that in mind, remember, this life, it’s your journey, and each person’s path is unique.
Letting past failures define self-worth: Have you allowed past failures to shape your perception of your worth? Failure is not a measure of your worth—it's a stepping stone towards success.
Basing self-worth on external validation: Do you rely on others' praise to feel good about yourself? As good as it feels to be praised by someone else, especially someone that you care about, you have to learn to cheer for yourself when no one else is, because someone isn’t always going to be waiting in the wings to tell you how great you are or how good a job you did. It's important to cultivate an internal sense of self-worth that isn't dependent on outside approval.
Perfectionism: Do you feel like you have to be perfect to be worthy? Nobody is perfect, and it's our quirks and flaws that make us human and beautiful. When I was younger, I thought my quirks and flaws made me weird as fuck. So I hid them. I stifled parts of my personality because I was afraid people would judge me or think I was weird. But it’s the weirdness that makes you unique. But, bringing it back to perfectionism… Think about it, is anyone in your life perfect? Do you love them even though they’re not? Give yourself that same grace.
Fear of disappointing others: Do you worry about letting others down, and does that impact how you see yourself? If you’re always trying to please others, to meet their needs, odds are, you’re neglecting your own needs, and over time that is going to chip away at how you see yourself. Remember that it's impossible to please everyone all the time.
Unfortunately, we often find ourselves tying our self-worth to external factors, like our careers, relationships, appearance, or achievements. But guess what? These are fluid, ever-changing aspects of our lives. So, what happens when one of those things falls short of our expectations or we don’t perform in some role as well as we wanted to? We end up feeling deflated, unfulfilled, and questioning our worthiness.
So, let's talk about how we can shift this narrative and begin recognizing our worthiness. It all starts with self-awareness and acceptance. We need to acknowledge and embrace our strengths and our weaknesses, our victories, and our setbacks. It's about confronting the story we've been telling ourselves about our self-worth and rewriting it with compassion, understanding, and love.
Self-worth is about recognizing our inherent value - it's not determined by external accomplishments or validation from others. We are worthy simply because we exist.
So, let's shift the focus from how others see us to how we see ourselves. It's crucial to see ourselves as the beautiful, unique, and incredible individuals that we are, granting ourselves the permission to dream big and stay resilient in the face of adversity.
You, my friend, are not your past, your mistakes, your accomplishments, or your emotions. You are far more than your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself. Instead, you are a radiant soul, filled with potential and worthy of love and respect.
You are worthy, you are loved, and you are absolutely capable of realizing your dreams. Stay true to who you are, my friend. Always remember that you are enough, just as you are.
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I hope you found immense value and insight from our recent podcast episode, "Worthiness: Flip the Script." It's time to truly believe and celebrate your worthiness because, my friend, you are more than enough.
In the spirit of our conversation, I wanted to share a special exercise designed to deepen your connection with your inherent worth. It's a powerful tool that takes you on a transformative journey of self-reflection, helping you to see yourself through the lens of someone who truly values and appreciates you.
Picture someone in your life who loves you deeply and write a letter to yourself from their perspective.
Imagine how they see you, appreciate you, and value you.
Write about your strengths, your quirks, your passions, and the love and light you bring into their life.
This practice is a beautiful opportunity to invite empathy into your self-perception and experience the power of self-love. It's a chance to celebrate you, from all the quiet strengths to the loud passions that make you unique.
Take a moment to sit with this prompt, to feel the warmth of that love and appreciation, and to let it wash over you. You may just discover a perspective you've been overlooking: your own brilliance.
There are no limits to this exercise - let your mind roam free, and be as detailed and creative as you can. This is your time, your moment, your opportunity to make magic. Believe in your own potential, and let's see where this journey can take us.
Remember, this exercise is for your eyes only. There's no need for perfection, only authenticity. Embrace this opportunity, and remember - you are worthy. Happy journaling!
