Episode 001: Bet On Yourself
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Hey there! I’m Adrienne, and I want to welcome you to “Live Your Truth Love Your Life.” First off, thank you for listening! This is my first podcast, and I kind of can’t believe it’s happening. Finally.
I wanted to kick this off by talking about betting on yourself. By that, I mean taking the leap and having faith in yourself that you can do the thing. This one is tough, right? It’s one of those things that sounds easy, but it’s hard, reeeealllyyyy frickin hard.
The reason why I wanted to start with this topic is because it’s something that I have both struggled with and yet somehow, lived by throughout my life. It’s something that if you can embrace it, it can change your life.
Also, in talking about this, I’ll be sharing a little of my story so you can get to know me, where I come from, and what I’m all about. So I grew up in Charlestown, a small part of Boston. MA. I grew up in the projects, in a small apartment with my mom and my brother, and in third grade, my nana moved in with us.
I think I first internalized the idea of betting on yourself from watching my mom when I was a young kid. One thing in particular really sticks out that I wanted to share is she went back to school, and then changed careers.
She went into early education, and I can remember when she started school again to get the required certifications. She was writing her papers and doing her reading in the hockey rink as my brother practiced. She was squeezing time in to get things done in the morning, in the evenings, wherever we went throughout the day, as she was putting us to bed. Wherever she could find an extra five minutes, she did.
She decided she wanted a career that more closely matched our school schedules so she could be there for us, and she figured out what would be required to do it, and then she did it. She figured out a way to pay for it and make it happen.
As a single mom, that’s a leap of faith, and there are a million reasons why this might not have worked out or been too much on top of her already crazy schedule with two kids. But somehow, against whatever odds she was up against that I couldn’t have conceived as a kid, she got it done.
My memories of her doing this is a touchstone for me and has been through a lot of my life. I saw, firsthand, modeled for me, that just because something is hard and might seem insurmountable, it’s not. You just have to bet on yourself. Know that you can do it and figure it out. Sure, this might sound like an oversimplification of things, but I was young and this is how the story is seared into my memory. She wanted it, and she did it.
Another story from when I was young, my brother and I always had some business scheme up our sleeve. We didn’t have much money in our house, so we were always dreaming up ways to make some. This included buying cases of soda to sell at construction sites around town. $4.99 for a 24 pack, and we sold them for a buck a piece. We felt like we were rich.
I made jewelry, from blue glitter heart earrings to beaded bracelets and set up a stand and sold them. The confidence of a kid in the crafts that she made, if only we could all stay that self-assured. The thing is, we thought about how much money we could make, we came up with a few ideas, and then we just went and did them.
There was no overthinking, no worrying whatever we were doing wasn’t good enough or that someone else is doing it better. We just dreamed up what we wanted to do and took action.
We were betting on ourselves that we could do it. We could sell the thing; we could make the money. THEN we could buy what we wanted with our own money. Of course as we got older, we got real jobs, but those ridiculous schemes we had when we were young have stuck with me. We had blind faith that we could be successful, and the crazy thing is, we always were.
Fast forward to high school. Tumultuous, insecure time for us all! Or at least me. But, I decided I wanted to go to college in California. I was a straight A student (history of perfectionism, anyone else?), and I knew that if I could get a scholarship, I could go anywhere. So when I was trying to figure out where I wanted to go, I daydreamed about what I wanted my college life to look like. What kind of weather did I want, what kind of things did I want to do in my free time, what did I want my life to be day in and day out?
This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I was a huge fan girl of Saved by the Bell growing up. Okay, fine, I own all the DVDs, because that was a thing, and I still find episodes on streaming when I want to just relax and feel nostalgic. Neither here nor there!
But, it’s relevant because when I was thinking about college, I thought about the Malibu summer episodes. Yes, I’m dating myself here. Hello 90s! Sure, they weren’t at college yet, but they lived and worked at the beach, and they were living THE life in my opinion. From that impression, I decided I was going to California, preferably southern California because in my mind, the beaches were perfect and that’s what I wanted in my life.
Did I mention the fact that I’ve never been to California at that point in my life? We didn’t have a ton of money, so college visits were not on the horizon. Thank you AOL dial up, but I scoured the internet for schools in California, specifically, ones within close proximity to the beach, and that’s where I applied. I got a scholarship to Chapman University, and off I went. My first day in California was the day my mom drove me to my dorm room to move in.
The crazy thing is, this was the first time I will have left home. I had never even been to sleep-away summer camp or anything like that. I didn’t know a single person in the state of California, but I went for it.
I didn’t think about the fact that it would be scary, I wouldn’t have any friends, no family close by, that I was living in a new place, I didn’t worry about any of it. I just thought, this is the beginning of the rest of my life. Were there people that thought I wouldn’t graduate from college, let alone stay in California by myself? Sure, but there wasn’t a thing in the world that they could say to sway me from going. One of the best decisions of my life, to this day. It opened my eyes to a whole new world from the one I grew up in, and I made some incredible friends.
My first real adult job following college was in law enforcement. I took a position in middle-of-nowhere Arizona, in a career I never thought I’d have, that had a really tough academy both physically and academically, but it was already done. I knew the job was mine. The obstacles were irrelevant, and I went through it all and arrived at middle-of-nowhere Arizona.
I fell in love with being outdoors, and made a new life for myself, again. At least this time, I had the experience of moving off to California and having that work out just fine to lean on, and I knew it was the right move. I didn’t want to leave California and those beaches though, but I did.
I spent 12 years with that agency, and I thrived. After I had five years in, I started promoting and by time I left, I found myself in an acting deputy position at a station of 400 people. Essentially, I was the second in command at the station, and most of the day to day was running off decisions that I was making. It was a lot of pressure, and there were a lot of days where I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing, but I always figured it out.
And this brings me to today. A year ago, I left my career, where I was earning over 6 figures, and I decided to start a business. People couldn’t believe I was doing it, but again, I knew it was the right thing for me to do. I had some animosity towards the organization as I left, but that wasn’t the driving force behind my decision. It was the fact that I wanted to do my own thing and I wanted to for a long while.
In 2015, I started a MBA program, thinking once I got my MBA I would start my business. I am so happy I went back to school, I learned a ton, got to study business for a few weeks in China, and really had a fantastic experience. But when I graduated in 2017, I still didn’t feel like I was ready. I didn’t know what to do or how to do it. I couldn’t decide on what business to start. I couldn't decide on anything, really, so I kept working in a job that I knew wasn’t right for me.
This leap of faith, this betting on myself, in this case, starting my business, it took time. I bought the domain for my website adriennecrowley.com in 2015. I also bought domains for a few other business ideas that I had at the time. I tinkered with Wordpress and finally landed on Squarespace to build my site. I built it out and let it sit for a year before I left my job, not doing anything with it.
I was having the internal battle of not being good enough, questioning who am I to start a business, telling myself that everything I wanted to do is being done by someone else already. Sound familiar?
But finally, I hit my “enough” point. I didn’t want my schedule to depend on others, I didn't want someone else to tell me when I could or couldn't take a day off, I didn’t want to be locked into a location. I didn’t want to be in a job where I didn’t use my creativity every day. I didn’t want to take direction from someone else, build their vision, and go along to get along. I didn’t want someone else to decide how much money I would make every year. I wanted to create my own thing, be out there in the world, share my experiences, help people decide on the life they want, and then help them make a plan to create it. So, I quit.
I spent this last year re-building my website, figuring out email marketing, trying to master pop ups so they don’t infuriate me or my potential clients, trying to come up with topics I would talk about and what I would share. I went back and forth on having a podcast versus a blog, and decided why not both.
I became a Heart Centered Facilitator through Danielle LaPorte a few years back, so I have that curriculum and her exercises to work with. I’m currently going through the Wayfinder Life Coach training program with Martha Beck. I just finished up my Grief Educator certification through David Kessler.
Look at me, still collecting certifications to show the world that I am qualified! I say that sarcastically, because now, the things I choose to learn and the people I’m choosing to learn from are very intentional decisions, and I know it will enrich my life and my business.
But anyways, all this to say, I had the desire to have my own business, really since I was a kid. I put a flag in the ground in 2015 when I started my MBA and bought some website domains, and it took until 2023 to go all in on myself, and make this dream a reality.
For a lot of my life, I decided what I wanted to do, and I went for it. Didn’t matter if it was risky. That’s not to say I wasn’t afraid or didn’t have reservations, but I went for it anyway. Although, when I was really young, I had a confidence that hadn’t yet been pummeled by the world, something I still work every day to build back up.
The thing is, life is going to be hard. It has been for as long as I can remember, but the hard is what makes it worth it. It doesn’t seem like it when you’re in it, but if everything you ever wanted was just magically possible, would you appreciate it? I think there are few things that compare to the feeling of a struggle and actually getting to the other side.
So this is your sign to bet on yourself. Decide what you want to do, make a plan, and go after it. Create the life you want. If you sit in your unhappiness, you’re just going to get older and still be unhappy. Do the thing that’s on your heart.
It’s going to be hard. You’re going to fail. Keep doing it anyways. You will eventually get to where you want to be. And then you’ll probably want to be somewhere else… conversation for another day. Learn to fall in love with the process of figuring it out and fall in love with yourself, because you’re a badass who goes after what she wants.
Let’s be honest. If you don’t bet on yourself, no one else will. You don’t have to have everything figured out. You’ll figure it out as you go. It might sound crazy, but it’s true! That’s been my plan throughout my life, and it’s gotten me to this point.
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Picture a cherished aspiration that you're holding close to your heart. Now, let's stretch our imaginations together. What if you took a chance, made a bold bet on yourself and brought that dream into your day-to-day reality?
Take a moment to paint that scenario in your mind and onto the page.
What does your life look like?
Feel like?
How has it changed?
More importantly, how have YOU evolved in the process?
Remember, there are no limits to this exercise - let your mind roam free, and be as detailed and creative as you can. The more vivid your visualization, the more tangible your dream will feel.
This is your time, your moment, your opportunity to make magic. Believe in your own potential, and let's see where this journey can take us. Happy journaling!
