Welcome, friends, to another episode of the "Live Your Truth, Love Your Life" podcast. I'm your host, Adrienne, and today's episode is both special and deeply personal to me. I'm here to share something I've been working on, something that's close to my heart—my upcoming book, "Scattered Thoughts on Loss: Grief Haikus."
In June 2022, my world was turned upside down by the news that my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. The doctors said that, even with treatment, we'd be lucky to have her with us for another year. Sitting with that diagnosis, grappling with the weight of it, has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Throughout this journey, I've oscillated through a myriad of feelings, questioned my relationship with myself, with her, with life itself, and have felt the full spectrum of emotions. In an effort to process these feelings, I turned to writing, a constant in my life, but this time it was different. I chose to capture these fleeting thoughts and emotions through haikus.
For those who may not be familiar, a haiku is a form of Japanese poetry known for its simplicity and depth, consisting of just three lines with a syllable pattern of 5-7-5. I've always enjoyed word games, and writing haikus felt like a creative challenge, a way to distill complex emotions into just a few words. This format allowed me to capture these thoughts without being overwhelmed by them.
Writing haikus became a form of meditation for me, a way to gain space from my emotions. It allowed me to examine them without being consumed. Each haiku I wrote was a step toward understanding, a moment of clarity amidst the chaos of grief.
Sharing this book with you, and with the world, is a step out of my comfort zone. It's an act of vulnerability I'm not accustomed to. Yet, I believe in the power of shared experiences, in the comfort found in knowing you're not alone in your feelings. "Scattered Thoughts on Loss: Grief Haikus" is a testament to that belief. It's my hope that those navigating the murky waters of grief may find solace in these pages, a reflection of their own journey through loss.
Let's talk a bit about grief, specifically anticipatory grief. It's the grief you feel when anticipating the loss of someone you love. It's a complex mix of emotions, including sadness, anger, and sometimes even relief or guilt. These feelings can ebb and flow, sometimes feeling all-consuming and at other times, more manageable.
Grief isn't a problem to be solved. It's an experience to be lived through. The intensity of grief reflects the depth of the love shared. It's important to remember that grief is as individual as love. What you feel, in all its complexity, is normal and valid. The worst loss is indeed your loss because it's yours to bear. But it's also a testament to the love you shared, a love that endures beyond loss.
"Scattered Thoughts on Loss: Grief Haikus" is my way of sitting with my grief, of making sense of the insensible. It's my journey through anticipatory grief, through the myriad of emotions that come with knowing you're losing someone integral to your being. This book is a collection of moments, of thoughts and feelings that have come and gone and will come again.
If any of this resonates with you, if you're in the midst of your own journey through grief, I invite you to explore this book. It's available in both Kindle and paperback format on Amazon starting April 1. Perhaps within its pages, you'll find a reflection of your own experiences, a sense of solidarity, and maybe even a bit of comfort.
Before we close, I want to share a few from the book:
“Three months until you
die, unless you take chemo.
Then, maybe a year.”
“You’re my favorite
The nurses said to you, words
I’ve thought forever.”
“Afraid to look at
my phone. It might tell me that
you’re gone forever.”
“If you’re on my mind
And in my heart every day,
Are you really gone?”
Each of these haikus encapsulates moments of my journey, snapshots of my ongoing process of coping and living alongside my grief. They are reminders that even in loss, there is beauty, and even in sorrow, there is love.
Thank you for joining me today, for allowing me to share something so personal. Your support means the world to me. If "Scattered Thoughts on Loss: Grief Haikus" speaks to you, I encourage you to pick up a copy. And remember, it's okay to feel, it's okay to grieve, and it's okay to seek comfort in the words and experiences of others.
Until next time, live your truth, love your life.
In this journal prompt, we explore the art of expressing complex emotions through the simplicity of haiku. It's a way to touch the essence of our experiences with loss or change, capturing the depth of our feelings in a few poignant lines. Let's explore how this structured expression can bring clarity and healing.
- Reflect on a moment of loss or transition in your life.
- Write a short passage describing this moment and the emotions it stirred within you.
- Now, challenge yourself to distill those feelings into a haiku (a three-line poem with a 5-7-5 syllable structure).
- After writing your haiku, journal about how simplifying your thoughts into this structured form provided clarity, comfort, distraction or even a newfound understanding of your grief or change.
This exercise isn't about perfecting the art of haiku but rather using this concise format to gain new perspectives on your emotions and experiences.
Take your time with these questions. Sit with them, revisit them, and most importantly, act on them. It’s time to turn your insight into action.
There are no limits to this exercise - let your mind roam free, and be as detailed and creative as you can. The more vivid your visualization, the more tangible your dream will feel.
This is your time, your moment, your opportunity to make magic. Believe in your own potential, and let's see where this journey can take us. Happy journaling!