Two days ago, I took my morning walk and saw the most vibrant pink roses. I stopped in my tracks and drank them in. I snapped a picture, because I figured it would make me look objectively less weird. Otherwise, I probably just looked like a creeper staring in front of a stranger’s house.

You see, roses remind me of my grandmother. She had a rose garden for most of my younger years, and her love of them and that garden was talked about long after we moved away from it.

Whenever I see them, I take it as a sign that she’s there with me. Hell, I bought my first house largely because the walkway leading up to the front door was lined with roses. It also had the perfect backyard for my dogs, but that part’s irrelevant to this story.

I’ve stared at the picture of those roses so many times since taking it. It’s been lingering in my psyche, along with thoughts of my Nana and all that she missed in my life and all that I missed in hers. This seemed like the perfect exercise for my Inside Voice journaling method.

I became the rose, and this is what she said…

Do you know why you’re stopped on a sidewalk, agog, like you’ve never seen a rose before? You think I’m your Nana, but I’m just a rose, silly girl.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. You don’t need me to be her, because she’s already inside you.

You’re mesmerized by me because you want to be me or at the very least, you want to be like me. I can see it in your eyes that you’ve forgotten who you are, deep down inside. Maybe not in every moment, but in at least some of them, especially lately.

I can remind you. That seems like something your Nana would do.

You know how to bloom, how to open up and be the fullest expression of yourself. You can be bright and blinding in all the best ways. You can trust yourself, because you know how to live. You know how to keep growing. You know how to reach for the sun, stretch yourself, and unfurl into the world.

I get it, you feel a bit wilted right now. You’re in a new place, you feel out of your element, but yet, somehow the most aligned you’ve felt in ages. Things are a jumble, and you’re looking for a sign. Well this is it. I’m the sign.

You’re right where you’re supposed to be. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be stopped, staring at me, thinking of the wonderful woman your Nana was and all the ways she’s imprinted your soul.

Things aren’t supposed to be easy. They never have been, and that isn’t going to suddenly change. Trust me, I look dead every winter, and yet every spring, I bloom again. Better days are coming… your Nana sure was right about that.

We all have seasons. Some are brighter and shinier than others. As long as you’re here on this earth, you’ll keep growing. You’ll find your way.

Loosen your grip and let the wind take you every now and again. Just go with it. You’ll land on your feet, always.

P.S. This piece is from my new Substack, Inside Voice, where I’ll be sharing more personal reflections like this every Friday. If you enjoyed this post and want to follow along, you can subscribe to Inside Voice here. Let’s navigate the messy, beautiful, and sometimes confusing parts of life together. 🌹💫