Hot take: Hope is a choice. You are not your grief.
I’m a transformation coach that specializes in grief. I don’t say grief coach because that implies we’re living in your grief, and that’s not what I do.
You are not your grief.
The word transformation can be off-putting to some people. Maybe you’re thinking, “my grief doesn’t need to be transformed.” Correct. It doesn’t.
BUT GRIEF TRANSFORMS YOU.
You can let it have its way with you, or you can be intentional in creating who you are after everything that’s happened in your life.
Grief can decimate your identity, the vision you had for your life, your idea of what’s possible for you, your sense of safety, and make you feel like you’re completely and utterly lost.
You don’t have to feel that way forever.
Grief snatches away hope, and when you’re early in your grief it feels like it will never return.
If you’re in the middle of the “loss of your life” (shout out to the Swifties), the word hope might make you mad.
I may make you even madder with this:
Hope is a choice.
That’s right, I’m doubling down. Hope is a choice.
When you’re in pain, it might not feel that way, but I promise, you will wake up to that idea again.
Many people in the grief space work with people that have specific losses. I don’t. Again, for some, that might be off putting.
I don’t focus on one specific loss, because I’ve had so many losses.
Since we’re getting to know each other here, let me list off a few of them:
I’ve had an uncle die from lung cancer and another died from drug related illness.
I’ve had multiple friends die from overdoses and two died by suicide.
I’ve had co-workers die from cancer and COVID.
My mom currently has a terminal lung cancer diagnosis.
I got shot when I was 16, and yes that’s trauma, but there’s a whole lot of grief wrapped up in trauma.
I also battled a debilitating bout with long COVID that entirely changed my body.
Did I mention that I had two dogs die within the last year? One I had for more than a decade, and the other I had for 18 years.
But the fun doesn’t stop there.
I’ve also experienced grief from the good stuff: I moved across the country and moved to another country, and I’ve changed careers.
With every change, there’s a loss, and with every loss, there’s grief. Grief doesn’t only come with the hard stuff, it shows up with the good stuff too.
I don’t have a specific loss. I’d prefer not to be put in a box. I’d prefer that my grief isn’t shoved in a neat little box either. Because every loss I’ve experienced, the grief has been different, and there’s been nothing “neat” about it.
You may be going through the “loss of your life” right now, but I’d bet that’s not the only loss you’ve experienced.
As a coach, my focus is on who you become now that you’ve experienced these hard things.
I’ll meet you where you are in your grief, and I’ll work with you to get you where you want to be.
You’re not who you were before. If you try to keep living from the place of who you were, you’re not going to find happiness, peace or purpose anytime soon. You’re not going to have energy or motivation or drive. You’ll likely stay feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, and alone.
When we work together, we will get you to a place of emotional stability, increase your energy, get you clarity on who you are now and who you want to become.
You’ll get into action so you’re building that new vision for your life. It might not be the one you originally had in mind, but different doesn’t have to mean bad.
