The Power of the Pause: A Game-Changer for Your Relationships

Question for you: are you reacting or responding?

I used to respond without thinking—sharp words, tense body, and then, the inevitable regret.

Many moons ago, I’d preface my words with, “Not to be a bitch, but…” as if that softened the impact. It didn’t.

I’d watch the words spill out, fast and impossible to take back. Cue the fallout.

Back then, I thought my reactions were just part of who I was. But now? I catch myself before the reaction takes over.

A breath. A pause. I remind myself: you don’t have to respond just yet.

The results? Conversations that don’t spiral. Relationships that aren’t left in tatters. A kind of peace I never thought I’d know.

We don’t control the world. We control our response to it.

Choosing your response is hard. But it’s powerful, and it has the potential to change everything.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a pattern—one I understood intuitively but came to deeply grasp through my work as a coach: circumstances shape thoughts, thoughts shape emotions, emotions shape actions, and actions shape results.

Things didn’t change overnight, but over time, as I became more aware of my reactions, I started to shift how I engaged with the world. I practiced seeing my circumstances differently, which shaped my emotions, influenced my actions, and helped me create more intentional results in my relationships and improved the quality of my life.

When you rein in your raw emotions, you reclaim your response. And that changes everything.

Next time you feel the urge to react, try this: Shift your focus to a small physical sensation—rub your thumb and forefinger together and notice the ridges, feel the weight of your feet on the ground, or focus on the temperature of the air against your skin. 

This small sensory shift interrupts impulsive reactions and helps you reset before responding intentionally.

What a powerful place to stand: responding, not reacting.