Episode 052: Worthiness vs. Confidence: Unveiled

Feb 19

Written By Adrienne Crowley

Welcome back to the 'Live Your Truth Love Your Life' podcast. Adrienne here! Today, I’m going to guide you through understanding the deep-rooted concepts of self-worth versus self-confidence and how they shape our lives.
Have you ever chased success, thinking it would fill the voids of worthiness and love? I've been there, believing that achievements could somehow grant me those feelings. But the truth is, fulfillment comes from within, not from our accomplishments. Today, we're diving deep into what it means to feel truly worthy and confident, and why understanding the difference is crucial for living authentically.
Feeling 'not enough' can be a heavy burden, often rooted in our perceptions of worthiness and confidence. This feeling can hold us back, preventing us from pursuing what truly matters to us. It’s essential to address these feelings at their core; otherwise, we risk staying stuck, sabotaging our success, or never fully enjoying our achievements.
Before we get into clarifying self-worth versus self-confidence, I’m going to give you some statements related to each to see if you can see yourself in any of these:
Language Indicative of Self-Worth Issues:
- "I am not lovable as I am."
  - This thought reflects a deep-seated belief that one's value and worthiness of love are conditional upon external factors or changing aspects of themselves.
- "I don’t deserve happiness/success/love."
  - This statement signifies a fundamental doubt in one's inherent worthiness of positive experiences and relationships, suggesting that these are privileges they must earn rather than basic rights.
- "Why would anyone choose me?"
  - This question arises from a belief that there's something fundamentally lacking or unappealing about oneself that makes them a less desirable choice in relationships or opportunities.
- "I’m not valuable."
  - Expressing a sense of low intrinsic value, this thought reflects doubts about one’s significance or importance to others or in specific contexts, independent of achievements or qualities.
Language Indicative of Self-Confidence Issues:
- "I’m not skilled enough to do this."
  - Focused on abilities and competence, this reflects a lack of confidence in one's skills or capacity to perform tasks or achieve goals.
- "I can’t handle what life throws at me."
  - This expresses doubt in one's ability to cope with challenges or adversities, focusing on perceived inadequacies in resilience or resourcefulness.
- "Others are better than me at everything."
  - Rooted in comparison, this thought underscores a sense of inferiority and doubts about one's abilities and qualities relative to others.
- "I’ll probably fail anyway."
  - Reflecting anticipatory defeat, this sentiment reveals a lack of confidence in one’s ability to succeed or achieve desired outcomes.
Bridging Self-Worth and Self-Confidence in Language:
It's important to recognize that while these thoughts can be distinct, they often intertwine. For instance, a thought like "Even if I succeed, it won’t really matter because I’m still not good enough," bridges both realms, suggesting a lack of confidence in one's abilities and a deeper, more pervasive doubt in one's inherent worth.
If you have said any of these things out loud or two yourself, you are not alone.
I want to get into self-worth and self-confidence. Sometimes, when people are experiencing self-doubt, they assume they have a confidence problem. That’s why distinguishing between them is so important. If you try to fix a self-worth problem by building your confidence or vice versa, you’re still going to feel stuck.
Self-worth is believing you are enough, lovable, and valuable, exactly as you are. It's an internal, stable belief that doesn't waver with external circumstances.
Conversely, self-confidence is about believing in your abilities, which can fluctuate based on achievements or comparisons. I’ll share why building a foundation of self-worth is key to not just achieving, but truly enjoying life’s journey.
I like to think of it like this: Worthiness can give you peace; confidence can give you drive. To truly thrive, it’s about aligning who you are with what you do, ensuring your external success matches your internal sense of value.
So, how do we cultivate both self-worth and confidence? This is a topic that we could do several podcasts, workshops and courses on, but it starts with asking yourself why you're about to say or do something, ensuring your actions align with your values. Next, always strive to do your best, and most importantly, trust your intuition. If you start with these three things, you’ll be on the path to building both self-worth and confidence. Remember, your worth isn't dependent on external validation; it's about knowing, deep down, that you are love.
Before we move on, I’d like to break those three things down a bit further.
It all begins with intentionality—understanding the 'why' behind your actions and words. Each choice we make, every word we utter, carries weight. By asking yourself why you’re about to say or do something, you’re essentially checking in with your core values. Does this action reflect who I am and what I stand for? This isn’t just about making decisions that look good on the surface; it’s about making choices that resonate with your deepest truths.
Next, let’s talk about effort—always striving to do your best. This isn’t about perfectionism, which can actually be a trap that undermines both self-worth and confidence. Instead, doing your best is about effort, resilience, and grace. It's recognizing that while not every attempt will be a win, every effort brings you closer to who you’re meant to be. This mindset fosters self-confidence because it’s rooted in action and growth, rather than fixed outcomes or the fleeting approval of others.
And then, there's intuition—your internal compass. Trusting your intuition might sound simple, but in a world that’s constantly bombarding us with messages about who we should be, what we should want, and how we should act, tuning into that inner voice can be challenging. Yet, it's crucial. Your intuition is a powerful guide, a direct line to your authentic self. It’s about giving yourself the space to listen, feel, and then act. This deep, internal trust builds both self-worth and confidence because it comes from a place of knowing and being, rather than external validation or achievement.
Integrating these practices into your life isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continuous journey. It involves setting boundaries that honor your worth, surrounding yourself with people who uplift you, and engaging in activities that make you feel alive and connected. Every step taken from a place of authenticity strengthens the foundation of your self-worth and polishes the lens through which you see your own capabilities, enhancing your confidence.
I encourage you to reflect on these areas in your life. Consider journaling about the times when your actions were deeply aligned with your values, how you felt when you truly listened to your intuition, and what doing your best looks like in different aspects of your life. Reflection leads to awareness, and awareness is the first step toward transformation.
Strong self-worth and confidence are not just about feeling good; they're about living well. They enhance our happiness, relationships, and satisfaction in life.
In the journey of self-discovery and growth, it’s important to acknowledge that our self-worth and self-confidence are deeply intertwined with the narratives we've woven about ourselves. These stories, crafted over years from experiences, interactions, and the voices of those around us, become the lens through which we view our own value and abilities.
Like actors on the stage of life, we then embody these roles, often unconsciously, showing up in ways that reinforce our internal script. Whether it’s the tale of 'not being good enough' or the saga of 'I must achieve to be loved,' these narratives shape our actions, our choices, and how we present ourselves to the world.
The transformative power lies in recognizing these stories for what they are—narratives, not truths. By rewriting these stories, we can step into a space where our self-worth is recognized as inherent, and our confidence is built on a foundation of self-belief and authenticity. It’s not just about changing how we see ourselves; it’s about evolving into the fullest expression of who we truly are, free from the stories that once defined us.
My coaching services are designed to guide you through understanding and transforming the narratives that have held you back. Together, we'll uncover the blocks to your inherent worthiness and cultivate the confidence needed to pursue your dreams boldly. By addressing the root causes of your doubts and fears, we lay the groundwork for profound personal growth and fulfillment. Let's journey together from feeling 'not enough' to embracing your true potential, crafting a life that reflects your genuine self. This isn't just about overcoming obstacles; it's about stepping into a version of you that feels empowered, valued, and unequivocally enough. Schedule a free 30 minute session with me.
www.adriennecrowley.com/coaching
We can start your journey towards unshakeable self-worth and self-confidence today.
I want you to know, you are enough. You are deserving of love, and you are capable of great things, exactly as you are.💫
Thank you for joining me today. Remember, you carry the light of worthiness and the strength of confidence within you. Until next time, live your truth, love your life!
Take a moment to reflect on your journey toward recognizing your inherent worth and building your confidence. This exercise is about deepening your understanding of these concepts and how they manifest in your life.
- Exploring Worthiness: Reflect on what worthiness means to you. When do you feel most in touch with your sense of inherent value? Consider moments or practices that help you connect with the feeling that you are enough, exactly as you are.
- Understanding Confidence: Think about what confidence signifies in your life. How does it show up for you? Are there specific areas or situations where you feel most confident? Write about the feelings or thoughts that accompany these confident moments.
- Nurturing Practices: Identify one practice or activity that strengthens your sense of worthiness and one that boosts your confidence. How do these practices impact your daily life and overall well-being?
- Affirmations for Growth: Create two affirmations: one to affirm your worthiness and another to enhance your confidence. Consider how these affirmations make you feel and how they might be integrated into your daily or weekly routines for ongoing empowerment.
This exercise is an opportunity to explore and affirm your worthiness and confidence individually, recognizing how each contributes uniquely to your sense of self. It’s about honoring your journey and embracing the steps you can take to nurture both your inner sense of value and your belief in your abilities.
Take your time with these questions. Sit with them, revisit them, and most importantly, act on them. It’s time to turn your insight into action.
There are no limits to this exercise - let your mind roam free, and be as detailed and creative as you can. The more vivid your visualization, the more tangible your dream will feel.
This is your time, your moment, your opportunity to make magic. Believe in your own potential, and let's see where this journey can take us. Happy journaling!