AI Isn’t Your Life Coach But It Can Be Your Thinking Partner

Apr 4

Reclaiming nuance, intuition, and personal agency in the age of artificial intelligence

There’s some noise online right now that says if you’re using AI to explore your thoughts or work through emotions, you’re doing it wrong. It’s dangerous. Soulless. Out of integrity.

Especially if you're a coach.
Especially if you’re a woman.
Especially if you care about wisdom.

While I understand the concern, I also believe something else:

We’re not giving women enough credit.

For their discernment. For their curiosity. For their capacity to hold nuance, ask better questions, and use new tools in service of their intuition, not in place of it.

So let’s clear this up:

AI is not your life coach.
But it can be your thinking partner.

When used with intention, it’s not something that overrides your inner knowing. It’s something that can amplify it.

That’s worth talking about.

Why This Matters (Especially for Women)

I spent 12 years in law enforcement, an environment where fewer than 5% of my colleagues were women. Innovation often only mattered if a man said it did. When women advocated for new technology or different approaches, they were often dismissed or ignored.

That experience has informed how I see this moment with AI.

I’ve seen what happens when women are left out of conversations about progress.

When their ideas are written off.

When they’re told to stay in their lane instead of helping shape the future.

I left that world behind, but I didn’t leave behind my voice.

Now, as a coach, I help women reconnect with their intuition, create clarity, and rebuild their confidence. I believe part of that work is helping us all step into new conversations about the tools we’re allowed to use to support our growth.

These women are curious. Intuitive. Reflective.
And they are not jumping on the AI bandwagon.

So much of what’s out there doesn’t speak to them.

It either promises them a shortcut to 10x their business, or warns them that AI is coming for their soul.

Neither narrative resonates with what they actually need: a space to reflect, a mirror to uncover what they can’t yet see, and a sense of agency in a world that often moves too fast.

The truth?
Women are adopting AI far more slowly than men.

According to researchers at Harvard Business School, women adopt AI tools at rates 10% to 40% lower than men, with a consistent 25% average gap across industries (Huang et al.).

Many feel unsure of how it works, what it means for their privacy, or whether it’s even ethical to use it for self-exploration.

Ladies, listen up! I’ve got a reminder we all need:

You’re allowed to explore.
You’re allowed to use new tools without handing over your power.
You’re allowed to say, “Let me try this, and see what resonates for me.”

What Martha Beck Taught Me About Integration

On a recent Wayfinder coaching call, someone asked Martha Beck if she had ever considered using AI to organize or consolidate her teachings.

Her response?

Classic Martha—playful, grounded, and deeply clear on the difference between using a tool and becoming the tool.

“I’ve been using it to help with newsletters and stuff... But I will never get to the place where I say, ‘Write me a newsletter.’ Because if it doesn’t come from my heart, from my core, it’s not honest. It’s not integrity.
But I can sure as hell tell it to check the spelling, tell me if I’ve left out any articles I should have seen…
We need to use the technologies of magic—which is how we navigate and heal people and ourselves—and spread them through the magical technologies of 21st century machines.
Putting those together is not a threat.
It is fantastic.
And it will not replace your authenticity.
It really won’t.”
— Martha Beck, Wayfinder Call, March 2025

That distinction between authentic expression and tool-assisted reflection is everything.

Martha isn’t rejecting AI.

She’s reminding us to stay anchored in our own voice.
Use the tool without losing the soul.

Using AI is not about replacing your knowing.
It’s about bringing your knowing into the conversation.

No Coach, No Tool, No System Should Be Your Guru

Any person or platform claiming to be the solution is one to run from.

It doesn’t matter if they’re selling 1:1 coaching or a generative AI app.

If they’re telling you there’s only one right way, they’re not empowering you.
They’re just replacing one external authority with another.

Integrity is not about what tools you use.
It’s about how you use them.

Whether you’re in a coaching session, journaling in your notebook, or engaging with AI, the goal is the same:

Come home to your own clarity.
Strengthen your ability to choose what’s true for you.

How I Teach It: A Grounded, Soulful Framework

When I teach clients how to use AI as a thinking partner, it’s not about generating quick answers or replacing real coaching. Nothing can replace human interaction, but that doesn’t diminish the value of using it.

It’s about supporting self-reflection with structure, intention, and heart.

Here’s how we do it:

Set an intention.
What’s alive in you right now? What are you hoping to uncover or work through?
Provide context.
Don’t just type “What should I do?” Share your emotional landscape, your story, your uncertainty. I created a prompting framework for my clients that takes all the guesswork out of engaging with it in a way that serves them.
Check in with your body.
After reading a response, pause. Close your eyes. Notice how the information is landing in your body. Does it feel resonant?
Use it alongside journaling.
Let it spark something. Then, take it even further with pen and paper. Let your own voice lead.
Create containers.
Don’t spiral endlessly. Set a time. Keep it sacred. Reflect on what surfaced.

Information isn’t wisdom.

When you reflect with intention, whether through journaling, coaching, or AI, you create space for something deeper to emerge:

Your own knowing.

What’s at Stake If Women Opt Out

If women opt out of engaging with AI out of fear or shame, we risk something deeper than just falling behind on the latest tech trend.

We risk losing influence over how these tools evolve.
We risk being left out of spaces that are shaping the future.
We risk missing opportunities for deeper self-awareness, creative visioning, and healing conversations.

More people are seeking support than ever before, but they don’t always have access to it. Over 60% of individuals who want coaching report that cost, time, or lack of access keeps them from pursuing it (International Coaching Federation).

Meanwhile, the global wellness AI market is projected to grow substantially in the coming years, offering scalable, supportive tools that could meet people where they are (“AI in the Wellness Industry”).

This conversation matters.

We’re not here to let tech bros define the narrative.

We’re here to shape it so that more women have the tools, language, and support they need to grow, heal, and lead on their own terms.

Real People Are Already Using AI for Good

I’ve seen this firsthand.

Friends and clients have used ChatGPT to ask questions they were too embarrassed to ask a coach or therapist, work through overwhelm in private, and create a plan for a dream they’ve been afraid to say out loud.

They’re not bypassing their growth.

They’re initiating it.

If we shame people for using the tools available to them—tools that can create movement, insight, and clarity when used with intention—what are we doing?

That’s just reinforcing the gatekeeping that has kept so many women from their power in the first place.

Final Thoughts

If you take anything from this, let it be this:

You are allowed to experiment.
You are allowed to trust your body and use new tools.
You are allowed to be curious, discerning, intuitive, and innovative, all at once.

Let’s stop painting AI as all good or all bad.

Let’s start having the real conversation: What happens when we bring our whole selves—mind, body, and soul—into relationship with the tools around us?

You don’t have to choose between wisdom and technology.
You can have both.

References

Huang, Laura, et al. The Gender Gap in AI Adoption: A Study of Patterns and Implications Across Sectors. Harvard Business School, 2023. https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/the-gender-gap-in-ai-adoption

International Coaching Federation. 2023 ICF Global Coaching Study. ICF, 2023. https://coachingfederation.org/research/global-coaching-study

“AI in the Wellness Industry: Trends & Forecasts.” Business Wire, 18 Jan. 2024. https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20240118565185/en