Episode 050: Authenticity Over Approval

Hey friends! Welcome back to the 'Live Your Truth Love Your Life' podcast. I’m Adrienne, and today, we're diving into a topic that's all about empowerment, authenticity, and the courage to live according to your own terms.
Imagine for a moment - what would your life look like if you weren't concerned with the opinions of others? What dreams would you chase? What changes would you make right now? Today's episode is an invitation to explore this liberating idea. 🚀
We often give too much power to the perceptions and judgments of those around us, letting them dictate our decisions, our paths, and ultimately, our happiness. But what if I told you that the key to unlocking your most fulfilling life is to simply stop worrying about what others think? 💡
I think you already know this. In fact, I think you know that people aren’t actually thinking about you, or worrying about you and what you’re doing, they’re worrying about themselves. Yet, when it comes time for us to do something differently, our brains lead us down the path of what everyone else will think. It convinces us that everyone is watching. Everyone has an opinion. And you start worrying about how you’ll look to everyone else.
If you sit down and really think about who everyone is, I bet the list is very small. This is something I do with coaching clients when needed. Let’s unmask the big bad everyone. The reality is, our brain is making a mountain out of a molehill.
In my experience, the people that care about you and the people that are taking risks themselves will applaud your effort, regardless of how things turn out. The people that want to talk about you, say mean things about you, they’re not your people.
When I decided to leave my career of 12 years to start a coaching business, go into podcasting, and create personal development courses and workshops, I kept that decision largely to myself until I turned in my official notice. Quite frankly, I didn’t want to hear the opinions of anyone else, so I didn’t even let people in on what I was doing until I had to. Then, when the opinions started pouring in, I told them my mind was made up, and this new path is the one for me.
People had a lot to say. A lot of it, not very kind. But I didn’t let it sway me. What I wanted for my life is far more important than what anyone else could want for my life. It took me a lot of years to get there, but I did, and you can too.
Let's start with a simple exercise: write a list of things you'd do differently if external opinions didn't matter. Prioritize this list based on what excites you the most. Now, imagine starting to do all those things, and consciously enjoying the freedom it brings. It's about choosing a life of your own design. ✨
The fear of what others think is about being seen, truly seen, for who we are, and the inherent risk that comes with it. But here's the kicker – the opinions of others? They're not your responsibility. 🌟
Just by allowing yourself to be seen, you're taking a brave step. Yes, putting yourself out there is a risk. But remember, you're only responsible for your actions and words, not the reactions they elicit from others. What others think about you says more about them than it does about you. If we let our self-worth be dictated by external validation, we're setting ourselves up for a roller coaster ride of emotions, dependent on something we can't control. 🎢
So, how do we break free from this cycle? How do we become our most powerful selves, unswayed by the opinions of others?
- Ask Yourself Why: Before you act or speak, check in with yourself. Why are you making this choice? Is it coming from a place of integrity, or is it to please someone else? Be brutally honest with yourself – your motivations hold the key to your freedom. 🗝️
- Always Do Your Best: Feeling insecure often invites unwanted opinions. There's a simple antidote: do your best. Whether it's in your business, your personal life, or your parenting, when you know you've given it your all, from a place of integrity, nothing else matters. You can stand proud, knowing you've lived up to your highest standard.
- Trust Your Intuition: How often have we ignored that gut feeling, only to regret it later? Your intuition is a powerful guide, leading you towards what's best for you. The more you listen to it, the stronger and more centered you become. It's about finding that quiet space, away from the noise, to connect deeply with your inner wisdom. 🔮
- Find a Temporary Role Model: It's okay to lean on the example of others when you're building your confidence. Identify someone who inspires you – what would they do in your situation? This can be a stepping stone to finding your own path and making decisions that resonate with your soul. 🌈
- Love Yourself: At the end of the day, your relationship with yourself is what matters most. While it's valuable to listen to constructive criticism, always filter it through your own truth. Remember, you are worthy, no matter what anyone else thinks. Self-love is your superpower. 💖
Embracing these principles isn't just about ignoring what others think; it's about grounding yourself in your truth, your values, and what brings you joy. It's a journey of shedding the weight of external expectations to uncover the vibrant life that's waiting for you. So, take the risk, be seen, and live boldly in the light of your own authenticity. Because, my friends, that's where true fulfillment lies. 🚀
Remember, you are not responsible for anyone's reactions but your own. The only opinions that truly matter when making decisions about your life are yours. Ask yourself: Is this what I want? Will it lead me where I wish to go? Will it harm anyone? These simple questions can act as your guiding lights. 🌟
Living in fear of judgment only dampens our spirits. It's a barrier to the joy and authenticity we crave. It keeps us small. The truth is, stepping away from the crowd can be the most liberating decision you'll ever make. It may lead you to find a community that resonates more deeply with who you truly are. 🌍
It's crucial to recognize that stepping into your power and letting your true self shine might attract criticism, especially if your choices are bold and unconventional. But those who have made significant impacts, who have changed the world, never did so from the comfort zone of conformity. They embraced risk, faced ridicule, and in doing so, they discovered their most authentic selves. 🔥
I encourage you to embrace the boldness required to live authentically. Let go of the weight of others' opinions and step into a life that is truly your own. You have the power to create a life filled with joy, purpose, and authenticity. It starts with a decision to live on your own terms. 🌈
Thank you for joining me today. If you're ready to make that leap, to truly live your truth and love your life, remember: it starts with you. If you feel stuck or aren’t sure what you want to do next or what the next right step for you is, schedule a free 30 minute coaching call with me. No obligation, no strings attached. It’s time to stop playing small and worrying about what everyone else thinks. It’s time to step into your limitless potential. Until next time, live your truth, love your life. 💫
Think about a time when you made a decision based more on what you thought others expected from you, rather than what you truly wanted for yourself.
- Describe the Decision: What was the situation, and what decision did you make that was influenced by others' opinions or expectations?
- Explore the Impact: How did making that decision, based on seeking approval, affect you emotionally and mentally? Did it bring satisfaction or did it leave you feeling disconnected from your true self?
- Envision an Authentic Choice: Now, reimagine that situation. If you had made your decision based solely on your own desires and values, what would have been different? Describe the action you would have taken if you were being completely true to yourself.
- Reflect on Feelings and Outcomes: How does envisioning this authentic choice make you feel? Consider the sense of empowerment, freedom, or perhaps even fear that comes with making decisions aligned with your true self.
- Commit to Authenticity: Write a commitment to yourself about how you will approach future decisions. How can you ensure that your choices reflect your true desires, values, and who you genuinely are, rather than being swayed by the need for approval from others?
This exercise isn't about judgment or regret; it's about recognizing patterns and empowering ourselves to make choices that are in alignment with our authentic selves. Embrace this journey towards living a life that's genuinely yours, one decision at a time.
Take your time with these questions. Sit with them, revisit them, and most importantly, act on them. It’s time to turn your insight into action.
There are no limits to this exercise - let your mind roam free, and be as detailed and creative as you can. The more vivid your visualization, the more tangible your dream will feel.
This is your time, your moment, your opportunity to make magic. Believe in your own potential, and let's see where this journey can take us. Happy journaling!